Finals, Graduation, and Goodbyes

Unsurprisingly this past week has been full of apprehension, nerves, a little guilt, and overall a lot of emotion. How Americans annually squeeze in final exams and graduation in the same week I don't know. I am truly exhausted mentally, physically, and yes - emotionally. For your reading pleasure I have a post in two parts: The first will follow my usual form as I provide commentary on my experience of American culture. In the second part I would like to extend a farewell to those friends I am leaving behind. Therefore this post will likely be long and yes, emotional, and so I will adequately signpost so you may skip to the good bits.

Part 1

Before finals week hit, I managed to get to SF one last time. We hired bicycles and rode across the Golden Gate bridge which was great but very exhausting, especially on such a windy day. As we made it to the other side I particularly wanted to find the view they'd used in the film The Internship (seen right). It was also recently used in the show Parks & Rec (also right). We found it, up a very very steep hill. I can say that those picnic benches aren't there but that little fence is! It was very exciting for me as a film buff, I always love to go to movie locations. It was a nice way for me to say goodbye to San Francisco. I do love the city and so I hope it's not too long before I get to go back!

So after two years of my Masters education I finally reached finals week. Having chosen to write a thesis I had no exams and instead I had a final presentation for my sociology class on Monday, and had to defend my thesis on Wednesday. Both were successful leaving me with a pretty good GPA (in fact even having a GPA is pretty cool) and leaving me free for 4 days of awards and recognition and "looking to the future" and goodbyes. I even managed to gain a few awards myself which I still don't understand - I don't get academic awards, I'm always the "most improved" or "best attendance" or "most sporty", never academic, so to receive recognition for 'Outstanding Research' was (and still is) a big surprise. 

The big graduation day was Saturday. It was different to graduation in England, or at least it was different to my undergraduate graduation. Firstly, I get to keep my cap and gown - can't wait to use it for HP costume parties. Also, I became aware that my undergraduate university was much bigger than here because everyone graduated on the same day. Split into two ceremonies, the first was mostly speeches, anthems, nostalgia and inspirational chat, where the University President conferred our degrees and we moved our tassels to the left (to the left). The second was for specific schools where you walk the stage in which we had a hooding ceremony.

It dawned on me very early how strange it is that we hold onto such traditions as graduation, especially with what we wear and the mace's that get carried around. I started the day feeling like I was in the Great Hall at Hogwarts about to hear who won the house cup, and I ended the day expecting the professors on the stage to hold hands in an act of rebellion against the Capitol. Everything at graduation ceremonies seems so strange and fictional - and it angered me that of all the traditions we chose to keep and those we chose to forget, that making people sit through hours of bad public speaking is still something we like to do. 

While I enjoyed my day, I was very cynical throughout of course. It was very American. We listened to the National Anthem and we thanked the troops. Random people congratulated me (shouting) as I walked around in my gown. The choir even turned the traditional university song into beat boxing at one point. There were many moments where I thought, "only in America". This was especially true for the presence of Fraternities and Sororities. I've gone most of my two years avoiding these groups but on this day I had no such luck. Every now and then I could smell alcohol on someone, and sure enough the individual wore a sash identifying them as a member of one of these groups. Now I'm not saying don't have a drink on your graduation day, but I am saying "don't show up wasted at 9am and behave like a douchebag and ruin everyone's day".  I used to belong to a club the would pride themselves on their ability to drink but we didn't need to show up to our own graduation wasted. If you can't enjoy something without being drunk you should probably check yourself. Also if you can't find it in you to behave like an adult for graduation, you probably shouldn't be graduating. 

Also as I mentioned previously, when I walked across the stage we had a hooding ceremony. Basically, someone dresses you. I don't really know how else to describe it. Just one of those weird traditions I guess, but basically I had to carry my hood around until I got onto the stage, shook hands with a lady, and then a professor put my hood on for me, then I walked off. Weird. Also funny when the short professor has to hood the tall basketball players. 

Finally to conclude, graduations (not just American ones) are weird. Idiots have to drink to deal with the weirdness. Masters and PhD students feel old compared to undergrads and get mad at them being drunk and not behaving like adults.

For my last full day up North we had a nice brunch with friends. I figured I should end as I began by eating a breakfast burrito - but actually knowing what I was getting in for this time. Later I wanted to grab a nice bottle of wine for a gift so we made a big trip out of it. It was especially fun to enjoy it with my friends before the goodbyes started. We stopped at a few vineyards for wine tasting and it was such a beautiful day to do so. The vineyards are so pretty and the people are so nice - wine tasting is definitely something I wish I could have done more of during my stay. 

Part 2

So now I want to move away from this past week, and look back over my past 2 years while being a GA and completing my Masters. When I got here I was scared, lonely, and homesick. A year later I was still homesick, but I wasn't scared or lonely anymore. Eventually I started to feel at home. Everything finally clicked. Then in no time at all I find myself here, about to fly back to England with my adventure nearly over. My time here has been truly life changing - I understand what that means now. I needed these two years to grow up, mature, and find out who I was. I needed these two years to learn about people, about cultures, and about the good in the world. My eyes have been truly opened, and I am a different person now. 

I could talk forever about what I have gained from my adventure, but whats important now is that acknowledge those people who have been integral to my time here. The people who have helped me, supported me, educated me, and made me a better person. So without further ado, I have written a message to each of you to say thank you. Not everyone listed here will find the link to my blog so please forward it if you can:

Mellissa, Tori, Maggie, Anthony, Tasha: My Sports Ped students. Thank you so much for being patient with me and for not laughing at my cultural differences. Thank you for giving me a space which was safe for me to learn without judgement and thank you for making me feel needed as a teacher. It is true that without such understanding students that I may not have made it to the end of this journey. I have enjoyed watching you all grow over these past two years and I am excited to see where you all end up. I will miss working with each of you. Thank you. 

Kama, Gabby & Fogey: My Softball buddies. I won't lie to you, when I started out here I knew nothing about softball or college sports. Throughout my time here you have taught me all I need to know about those two things. Although you have also been much more than athletes to me. You have each showed me kindness, intelligence, and happiness that I hope to emulate in my future. I have felt that throughout my stay, if I ever needed someone, you would be there. I value your friendship and I hope that we remain in contact. Thank you. 

Carmen, Mike & Mike, Brett, Vince, Renee, Curran, Cory: My sociology class and friends. It has truly been a pleasure to know you all. You have all supported me and been silently guiding me throughout my stay here. You have all given me confidence in who I am and restored my faith in people. You reminded me to see the best in people. I have learned so much from each of you and I will carry those lessons with me every day.  You are all good people and I hope to know you for many years to come. 

Ben: You have been the comic relief that I have needed in this crazy country. Thank you so much for laughing at stupid things because it meant I could laugh with you. Thank you for not making ignorant jokes about my accent/country, and instead just the rare intelligent ones. Thank you for giving me a job because I have loved every second of working at the games - it really enhanced my experience here so thank you so much. Most of all, thank you for just being a good person. From the moment I met you to the moment I said goodbye you were the same, unwavering, good person who I met two years ago. Being around you just makes me automatically happy so thank you for that because there were many times when it was really needed. Thank you. 

George: I truly regret not knowing you better. I have loved spending time with you these past two years. We have had some great times together and your presence has been  a real joy and pleasure. You bring humor, happiness, and kindness where ever you go, and all those great times we've had as a group wouldn't have been the same without you. Thank you. 

Gregg & AJ: I have missed you both so much this past year and so to think I am now leaving the country without seeing you both is very hard for me. Your friendship in my first year here was a real blessing and, perhaps without realizing it, you kept me going when there was no one else. You are good people and I wish you all the best in your future together. Thank you so much. 

Blakely: It truly sucks that we only got to spend this past year together, but I have to say, I have loved having you as a roommate. You are fun and honest, and I love that about you. You are not hiding anything, what you see is what you get, and I value that so much. I will miss living with you so much, and I am so sorry that I have to leave after such a short time together. Thank you so much for being awesome (and clean). 

Julie: I am so unhappy that we only got this one year to spend together. My friendship with you and Jaf this year has been the final piece to the puzzle. Being able to spend time in the office and at home with someone I can talk to so easily, someone I respect, and someone I can relate to, has been really huge for me. I began to enjoy my job and life here on a new level and that was all down to you and Jaf. I will miss working with you and I will miss living with you. You are a great person and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for you. Thank you. 

Kortney: It is no understatement that I would not have been able to do my job without you. Everything I needed to learn to do my job, I learned from you. You have taught me what quality teaching and coaching looks like, and you have taught me to be a professional. Every reward or recognition I receive for my job in the hesp department should come right back to you, because I could not have done any of it without you. You also gave me a safe space to vent, and more importantly be myself. I respect you so much and I know that you will do great things. The future of USA soccer is in your hands and I am excited to see your career unfold. You have truly helped me in a way that I cannot thank you enough. Please keep in touch. 

Killick: I have already written a goodbye to you once, and so to avoid repeating myself I will just say this: you are responsible for all of this, and now I see how life changing it all was. Thank you. 

Jafra: Jaf you are a unique individual. I don't expect I will ever meet anyone like you for the rest of my life. I do not know anyone who has a passion for life the same way you do. Your positivism and drive to seek out knowledge has motivated me to be better. I hope for the rest of my life I can approach things and think "what would Jaf do?". You are a good person, perhaps the best. You have the ability to light up a room as well as send a group of people into deep critical thought. You are destined for great things, and I'm excited for the day I can point at my TV and say, I went to school with him. Thank you. 

Gina: I will never forget my first week here, being told over and over again about this awesome person I had replaced and how I had 'big shoes to fill'. For a kid who was fresh of the boat, that was the worst thing I could hear. Although now I can forgive them all, because they were all right. In fact if anything they understated what a truly awesome person you are. I have learned empathy and kindness from you, two things that come so naturally for you. You made me feel welcomed and supported, and most of all, wanted. You took me under your wing and supported me like a parent (or maybe a cool aunt or something). Those first months here were so difficult for me, and I am so grateful that you were there. Thank you for your continued friendship and support.

Lizzie: So to bounce off Gina's paragraph, I will never forget the first time we met. That same week you said to me "you know that girl Gina that everyone keeps talking about, that's my girlfriend". My first thought was "there are gay people here", and my second thought was "be cool". Lizzie you welcomed me with open arms from day one. I literally wouldn't have made it here without you. You're fun to be around and you took good care of me. You made me feel wanted and like I had friends. You're friendship kept me going. You have provided me with amazing experiences and stories I will cherish forever. You helped me fall in love with California. There is no way that this is goodbye because there is no way that I will allow myself to not see you again. Thank you. 

Megan: Maybe I'm biased, but the fact of the matter is that I genuinely wouldn't have returned to America in January '13 if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't have lasted these two years, and I wouldn't have finished my masters. I wouldn't be here right now, in Southern California, writing these nice things. I wouldn't have any awards, friends, stories, or experiences. You saved me from myself and you showed me that I can always be better. You helped me be brave and you also let me be scared. You kept me here and it was amazing. You provided me with experiences beyond my imagination. I have learned so much from you and I am a better person because of you. You are a good person, such a genuinely good person, and I am the luckiest person in the world because you stuck around. Thank you. 

Thank You

To all of you, don't be shy, if you ever need a tour guide in London or a place to crash don't hesitate to ask. I can't write thank you's to everyone, but to all those not mentioned above, each of you has shaped and impacted my life in a positive way so thank you.

I have two more weeks in the USA and then a packed summer awaiting me in England and Europe. Following that I will be coaching youth sports until I save up enough money to enjoy a vacation back out here! 

This is not my last post, I have a few more in me so this isn't goodbye to my American adventure just yet!

E x